Comedian and former Saturday Night Live cast member Bowen Yang has never shied away from blending sharp wit with deeply personal stories. In a recent episode of the popular podcast SmartLess, hosted by Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett, Yang revealed a surprising and darkly humorous chapter from his teenage years—one that involved conversion therapy, a family ultimatum, and an ironic twist that ultimately led him to New York University, which he affectionately calls “the gayest school in the country.”
Family Discovery and an Impossible Choice
Yang, who grew up in a conservative Chinese-American household, recalls being “discovered” as gay at the age of 17. The moment came not through a heartfelt confession, but through a simple technological oversight. He had forgotten to close a chat window on the family computer, exposing private conversations that revealed his sexuality. The fallout was immediate and emotional. “My parents were sobbing at the dinner table every day,” Yang recounted on the podcast, describing the pain and confusion that followed.
Faced with a crisis, his parents presented him with a stark ultimatum: either stay in Colorado and attend a state school while living at home, or move to New York City to attend NYU with his older sister—but only if he agreed to undergo conversion therapy. The choice seemed clear, though not for the reasons his parents might have hoped.
“I was like, ‘Oh, I’ll do the therapy, but I’m going to NYU,'” Yang said with a laugh. At the time, he viewed the therapy as a bureaucratic hurdle, a box to check in exchange for the freedom and independence of city life. What his parents didn’t realize was that NYU, especially in the late 2000s and early 2010s, was known for its vibrant LGBTQ+ community, progressive campus culture, and high concentration of queer students and faculty. In Yang’s words, it was “the gayest school in the country.”
Eight Weeks with a ‘Quack’ in Colorado Springs
Before heading east, Yang spent eight weeks in Colorado Springs undergoing so-called conversion therapy with a licensed counselor he now refers to as a “quack.” The sessions followed a predictable script: the therapist attempted to reframe Yang’s same-sex attractions as symptoms of emotional distress, trauma, or unmet psychological needs. “Every time I felt attracted to a guy, he would say, ‘Ah, you’re just miserable. You’re in pain. That’s why you’re feeling this.'”
Yang described the experience as both absurd and surreal, a performance he played along with to reach his goal. He didn’t believe the therapy would change who he was, but he did believe it would buy him access to the life he wanted. “I was just biding my time,” he said. “I knew who I was. This wasn’t going to change that. But I also knew that if I played along, I could get to New York. And that’s all I cared about.”
What makes the story particularly striking isn’t just the irony of a gay teen using conversion therapy as a ticket to a queer haven—it’s the way Yang reframes a traumatic experience with humor and clarity. His storytelling turns what could have been a story of victimhood into one of quiet rebellion and self-determination.
The Therapist’s Accidental Confession
The most unforgettable moment of Yang’s therapy came during his final session. In what he describes as a “plot twist worthy of a sitcom,” the therapist shared an anecdote about a former patient who, while dining at a Denny’s, noticed a waiter giving him lingering glances. As the story unfolded, the therapist began describing the man’s internal monologue: “And then I was like, ‘Am I really going to have sex with this person?’ And then I did.”
It was only after finishing the sentence that the therapist realized he had accidentally shifted from third person to first person. The room fell silent. Yang, ever the observer, didn’t interrupt. “He didn’t catch himself,” Yang recalled. “And I just sat there, like… okay. We’re not going to talk about that.”
The moment was both hilarious and revealing. It underscored the fundamental flaw in conversion therapy: the practitioners themselves are often grappling with suppressed desires and internalized homophobia. The therapist’s slip wasn’t just a Freudian error—it was a window into the hypocrisy and emotional toll of trying to deny one’s true identity.
From Trauma to Triumph
Yang’s journey from that Colorado Springs office to the Saturday Night Live stage is a testament to resilience, humor, and the power of self-acceptance. He has since become one of the most visible gay Asian-American comedians in Hollywood, using his platform to speak openly about identity, culture, and the absurdities of growing up queer in a conservative environment.
His experience with conversion therapy is not unique. Thousands of LGBTQ+ youth in the U.S. have been subjected to similar practices, despite widespread condemnation from major medical and mental health organizations. According to the American Psychological Association, conversion therapy is not only ineffective but can lead to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.
Yet Yang’s story stands out because of the way he reclaims it. Rather than letting the experience define him as a victim, he turns it into a punchline, a cautionary tale, and a symbol of resistance—all at once.
Why This Story Still Matters
Yang’s anecdote resonates because it highlights several ongoing issues:
- The persistence of conversion therapy: Despite being banned in over 20 U.S. states, conversion therapy remains legal in many areas and continues to be practiced under the guise of counseling or religious guidance.
- The pressure on immigrant families: Yang’s story reflects the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ youth in immigrant households, where cultural expectations, language barriers, and religious beliefs can complicate coming out.
- The role of humor in healing: By telling his story with wit and timing, Yang disarms the pain and makes it accessible, helping others feel less alone.
His journey also underscores the importance of safe spaces—like NYU—for LGBTQ+ youth. For Yang, the university wasn’t just an escape; it was a place of belonging, creativity, and self-discovery. It’s where he began performing comedy, found his voice, and eventually launched a career that would make him a household name.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is conversion therapy?
Conversion therapy refers to dangerous and discredited practices that aim to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. It is widely rejected by medical and mental health professionals.
Is conversion therapy still legal?
It is banned for minors in over 20 U.S. states and several countries, but remains legal in many places, particularly for adults.
Did Bowen Yang actually believe the therapy would work?
No. Yang has said he viewed the therapy as a formality—a price to pay for the freedom to attend NYU and live authentically.
How did NYU shape Bowen Yang’s career?
NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts provided Yang with a creative environment where he explored comedy and performance, eventually leading to his work on Saturday Night Live and beyond.
Bowen Yang’s story is more than a punchline—it’s a powerful reminder of how humor can transform pain, and how sometimes, the best revenge is living your truth unapologetically. By turning a coercive experience into a narrative of triumph, he continues to inspire LGBTQ+ youth to embrace who they are, no therapy required.
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